Goodbye....Hello

In early January, I made the decision to delete my Bookstagram account, @the_reading_machine. I had been distancing myself from it for months after realizing it brought me so much more anxiety and discomfort than connection and joy every time I logged on. While I knew there were people and aspects of it I would miss, I needed to remove myself from the competitiveness, the comparison, the constant bombardment of new and next. Despite knowing this, there was this fear I had when thinking about letting that space go - a fear that there was something I was going to miss, that I would be forgotten, that I would be left behind. As soon as I recognized that fear, I knew Bookstagram had too much hold on my mental health, and it really had to go.

It has been one of the best decisions and has led me to letting go of my personal Instagram account, as well. I’m grateful I deleted my Facebook years ago, grateful that I never had a SnapChat or TikTok or Twitter or any of the other myriad platforms to distance myself from.

I’m hopeful that freeing up my head (and my heart) from Instagram will give me the freedom to slow down, to write more (which I miss dearly), to truly enjoy reading again. I started this space over a year ago, when I first knew Instagram was only taking from me, but I let it languish because I was both afraid - to write, to let go - and because I was hollowed out by my anxiety and over-stimulation.

Now, I am choosing to believe this space is different. It feels that way. It feels clean and hopeful. I don’t really have any plans for this space other than to share my book thoughts and small joys, the ordinary magic of living with presence; a journal of sorts, a commonplace book of the things that are helping me grow, helping me hang on. And if one day, this space is no longer hopeful, no longer different, I know I can let it go, too.

Thanks for being here.